1. |
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There are certain things that won’t be forgotten.
Never could let go, and I still call it home.
I get so nostalgic these streetlight nights,
And I would walk you home for the rest of my life.
Rick’s loft looks the same,
But all of us have changed.
Griff wears his shirt tucked in.
Sara can’t stop crying
No one is sure how that happened.
And Jamie’s talking job prospects with Ryley,
So I’m flipping a coin in my head
Between falling in love again
And drinking myself to death.
New Year’s with friends:
We probably should have stayed in bed.
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2. |
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I remember the way
The cool fog sank in my veins.
And the street consumed me
But it could not complete me.
You said some things and I said some things
None of them meant anything
But the distance between back then
And “recently…”
Your form left wrinkles in the sheets
And now they miss you nightly.
The emptiness is haunting me.
It’s everywhere when I try to fall asleep,
And I’ve been bad about that lately.
Honestly this year I’ve just been so lonely
And so afraid of ending up alone.
What if I die
In an empty room
Some rainy fucking Tuesday
And nobody finds me?
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3. |
npc
01:46
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I’ve been thinking a lot about dropping out of school.
I have this vision where I own a bookstore in Philly
And my parents have finally stopped worrying.
And nobody is disappointed in me.
I’m living and dying on the east coast,
And wondering if it’s such a bad thing.
If it’s all I have in me,
It’s all I have in me.
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4. |
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December wind blew away my paper face.
It was blank, distressed, and out of place.
I’m more exhausted than upset
And inconsolably directionless,
Shaking hands with discontent.
I feel so out of sync
Like I’m waiting for someone who left
And I miss someone I haven’t met.
This New Year’s day I’m so insane
Qualifying happenstance as change,
Quietly watching the snow turn to rain
And drain away.
Permanently living in a seam,
Indefinitely between who I’ve been and
Who I really wanted to be.
And I am strangely relieved
That the stillness in everything
Is not a stillness in me,
And I promise I will start this year more bravely.
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tactless Haddon Heights, New Jersey
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